Our Idiot Brother (P Rudd, S Coogan)
I heard it required plastic-pants: no; but it amounts to a cool twist. Rudd and Coogan are super.
The Disappearance of Alice Creed (Nobody you have ever heard of but they’re great)
Two first-class drongos kidnap a girl they KNOW who … (quel surprise).
Don’t Say a Word (M Douglas, S Bean, B Murphy)
Girl with valuable secret prefers the loonie bin to hanging out with Sean Bean. She is mad. Somebody tell me how Douglas’ wife gets to the toilet.
Ted (M Wahlberg, M Kunis)
Ted to Norah Jones: “You’re not bad for a half-Muslim.” She: “Half-Indian.” Ted: “Anyway, thanks for 9/11.” You get the picture.
Nothing But the Truth (M Dillon, K Beckinsale, V Farmiga, D Schwimmer)
Journalist makes a stance that lasts years. After a week, it’s just a big … zzzzzzzzzzzz. Learning the source was a let-down; made no sense why KB kept schtum. (PS: is it just me but why does ‘Vera Farmiga‘ make me want to break out the Blue Vein?)
Hamlet (Silent b/w German 1921)
Colour gaily trips (no pun intended) along between black/yellow/pink/lime-green/white. Some kraut wag made Hamlet a GIRL. (NB: The actor was 37 at the time – those were the days.) Hilarious body language ensues. Riveting considering the vintage, and the length (1 hr 40). Unmissable un-boobing finale. Should have cult status.
The Constant Gardener (R Fiennes, R Weisz)
(Via John Le Carré.) What the British do so well. Terrifying, convoluted, gentle. More arse-holes than a Roman toilet. Fiennes is something else.
Everything (R Winstone)
They must have had to drug Winstone (or hoped the audience would be). J u s t t o o o l o o o o o o n g. I guessed his reasons 20 minutes in. (“Nobody likes a smart-alek, Jane”).
To Die For (M Dillon, J Phoenix, N Kidman)
I wanted to smash my screen. Kidman was killable. Phoenix in drool cum retard overdrive. The dramary (drama via doco) and flashbacks irk. We knew the ending from the start (“ditto above”). Irk.
Trans-Siberian (E Mortimer, W Harrelson, B Kingsley)
The poms do it again. Not the story you think is unfolding. The setting just made everything worse (and I’m referring to the toilets here, never mind Siberia). Never share a sleeper on a train.
House of Games (J Mantegna)
(Via David Mamet.) Boss of Criminal Minds decades ago (a dream). The con-tricks are beaut. Bonus: the 80s clothes/hair-dos are hysterical.
In the Electric Mist (T L Jones, M Steenburgen, J Goodman)
Anything with TLJ never misses. Set in Louisiana. Strange through-story of the Civil War. I was expecting alligators. And the title seems wrong somehow. (“Who cares? Exactly.”)
There is no doubt that Big Yawn of the Week (or possibly the Millennium) goes to:
Not Forgotten (S Baker of The Mentalist)
Not forgotten quickly enough, more-like. Everybody mumbles. Constantly. There did not appear to be a director involved. Why did the aggrieved just not kill the jerk years ago instead of waiting until the daughter starts MENSTRUATING?
Blind Spots (The 10 Business Myths You Can’t Afford to Believe) by Alexandra Levit
Jolly good; but you don’t need to be told to wear clothes appropriate to the job (unless you hail from Alpha Centauri). Best line: “The brain treats the failure to achieve a goal the same way that it treats the loss of a valued possession (which) the brain seeks to resolve by driving us toward accomplishment.” That from the commercially-named Dustin Wax; he should get into household products, immediately.
The Lost Girl by Caroline Roberts
Caroline was abducted by Fred and Rosemary West. After she was their NANNY. Goodness knows what Jojo ‘Naughty Step’ Frost would have made of this mob’s child-rearing Post-It Note reminders on the fridge. This was in their “formative lunatic” years so Caroline scarpers – just. On top of that, the rest of Caroline’s life is a trauma a page. You get your money’s worth here.
I read Sybil (and saw the film) years ago and was shocked. BUT, not as shocked as this. A scheme to make money/fame by ALL THREE: Sybil Dorsett/Shirley Mason, Dr Cornelia Wilbur and Flora Rheta Schreiber (author). The latter checked into Sybil’s background and found nil corroboration. But Dr Wilbur played her tapes of Sybil under the influence of drugs. Wilbur knew that Sybil and her mother suffered from pernicious anaemia, which explains their slightly odd (but not crazy) traits. PS: I understand some parents are still in jail via convictions made out of Multiple Personality Disorder/false memories, which became ‘popular’ after the original Sybil book; MPD does not exist. (I recall seeing some goon on TV a long time ago claiming to have nearly 400 personalities.)
Thank you and goodnight!
- 10-Second Film and Book Reviews #5 (virginauthor.wordpress.com)